The Damages of Victim Blaming

Within circles of professionals who work with issues of sexual assault, domestic violence, rape and physical assault, the term "victim blaming" is quite common. Victim blaming is when a victim of assault or violence is blamed for being the one responsible for bringing on the attack.

According to the World Health Organization, "Negative social reactions to rape (ex. victim blaming) are linked to higher instances of PTSD." Research has also shown that "Of all human experience of trauma, sexual trauma is second in severity only to those who have experiences active combat."*

Negative reactions are incredibly damaging to survivors and First Response Action Coalition member Meg Long goes into more detail about the issue of victim blaming.

Imagine you are walking across the street to get something from the corner store and a car hits you. Runs right into you and knocks you across both lanes. Dazed, shocked, and in pain, you stumble to a passing pedestrian and ask for help. The pedestrian looks at you and starts asking why you were walking across the street. "Didn’t you know the street is for cars? Your clothes are dark colors, how did you expect the drivers to see you with such dark clothes? It’s late to be walking to the store; do you always go to the store so late?"

How many pedestrians who are hit by cars receive this type of reaction from those they tell their story to? Not many. Why? Because as a society we generally do not blame people who have bad things happen to them. Except when someone is sexually assaulted. We ask if they had been drinking, what they were wearing, what part of town they were in, did they know the people they were with, were they out very late. Why do people ask these questions? In order to make sense of the situation. They want to know that it wouldn’t happen to them because they wouldn’t dress that way, or drink that much, or hang out with those types of people. The fact is sexual assault doesn’t make sense to the average person. It shouldn’t make sense to the average person because the average person would not force himself or herself on someone else.

"There have been many cases where the reaction a survivor receives after the assault is reported to be more traumatizing than the assault itself. Victims who report and receive disastrous response (disbelief, lack of protection or support) have more long term negative trauma than those who never tell." (Hindman 1990 & 1999)

After being physically assaulted the survivor then has to succumb to verbal assault by those who decide to continue hurting the victim instead of helping him or her heal. Only 4% of sexual assault reported by adult women resulted in the conviction of their offenders. (Tjaden & Thonnes, 2006) The illogical and inconsistent manner in which sexual assault survivors are blamed for the crime committed against them is discussed in the following article by Amanda Hess posted on washingtoncitypaper.com. No other crime is looked at in such a way. Sexual assault is the only crime where a victim needs to prove his or her innocence.

The first step in reversing this practice and supporting those who are sexually assaulted is to acknowledge that victim blaming is occurring. Victim impact is substantially reduced when victims are believed, protected and adequately supported. Disagree with those who are questioning the victim’s integrity and innocence. By supporting the victim and not tolerating any further assault on the survivor we can then begin to build positive and supportive communities. At any website that addresses the issue of sexual assault you will undoubtedly see the sentence: ‘It is never the victims fault.’ This sentence is common for two reasons: 1. It is never the victim’s fault. 2. Despite the fact that it is never the victim’s fault, we, as a society tend to blame the victim.

We need to move forward to the action/behavioral phase and start responding in a way that shows survivors of sexual assault that is never their fault.

Meg Long

Kenya 2003-2005

For those who know someone who has survived physical and sexual assault, it is important to meet them where they're at - listen, acknowledge and offer support. For survivors of physical and sexual assault, it is important to know that it is not your fault. Self-blame plagues many survivors and it is more damaging for recovery.



*Quote cited from Wilson, Smith & Johnson in Figley, 1985

Survivor Support: Part I

Self-care is vitally important for survivors of physical and sexual assault. One of our First Response Action Coalition members, Meg Long, tackles this issue in a new Self-Care Corner series that will run monthly. In these columns, Meg will discuss various issues that face Volunteers who are survivors of physical and sexual assault. In this first piece, Meg addresses the important subject of support.

It’s not you, it’s them

I recently provided a continuing education workshop on self-care and empathetic listening for the volunteers that I manage. I work at a non-profit organization where the volunteers are imperative to day-to-day function. As a result they have a lot of interaction with our clients, who are in crisis. All the clients have heart-wrenching stories, which they share with staff and volunteers. As I was taking part in the training I was reminded of something that is brought up frequently when discussing self- care and empathetic listening. It is a concept that I think we all are aware of, though I had never heard it put into a theory until a class I took in graduate school entitled ‘ Cultural aspects of coping with grief and loss’.

It breaks down to this: when one is grieving- and grieving pertains to any loss, the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, the loss of one’s sense of power, any loss- those one speaks with will fall into one of three groups. One group will be very helpful and positive. This group will listen well and be actively involved in the grieving process, forming a positive support system. The second group is very negative and harmful. This is the group of people who are more interested in giving advice and judging than listening. They do not listen to what one is feeling, but tell one how they should be feeling. This group can delay and damage the grieving process. The third group is a neutral group. They are not harmful, but not necessarily helpful either.

The complication lies in who falls into which categories. It is a pleasant surprise when a casual friend turns out to be in the first group and is very sensitive and understanding, letting one go through the grieving process at one’s own sped without having to explain why they are laughing one minute and crying the next. It is a sad realization when one’s mother/sister/best friend falls into the second category. They tell one that one should ‘buck up’, ‘a lot of people go through they some thing’, or that ‘it has been ‘x’ amount of time, you should have moved by now’. Unfortunately these people now have become harmful, and distancing oneself from these people may be necessary for a healthy reconciliation.

Part of taking care of oneself is realizing whom we are surrounding ourselves with and how they are effecting us. This is true for everyone, but it is especially true for those who are working through loss and/or grief. While we cannot divorce ourselves from those who may hinder or reconciliation process, it is important to recognize that sharing with them will not result in a positive way. Therefore a more helpful and healing friend should be the ‘go to’ person for emotional support. Perhaps those who fall into our first category are the one we go to when its time to watch a movie or relax a local coffee shop.

Personally, I find support groups to be immensely helpful. When I am attending a support group I find my need to share and to be surrounded by those who understand my situation and listen non-judgmentally is fulfilled. As a result, it is not necessary to rely so heavily on my friends and family for understanding since I am receiving it through another outlet. Googling support groups in your area is a quick way to identify available resources. But be patient, not every support group will be a good match! It may take a few before the right group of people present themselves.

- Meg Long, RPCV Kenya

If you are a friend or loved one of a survivor, please consider how you may be able to better understand and better support them. Sometimes people aren't ready to talk and sometimes they want someone to gently open the door. If you are a survivor, try to find people with whom you feel comfortable. We hope to soon have resources available on this First Response Action blog to refer survivors to for more assistance. Many hospitals have support groups and also many non-profits have support programs. Here are a few links to national organizations that may be helpful:

• Darkness to Light Adult Support Groups
• Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)
• Meetup Groups
• After Silence

If you found an online resource that may be helpful to survivors, please comment or email it to firstresponseaction@gmail.com.

Peace.